Just Marybeth
May 2005 (with wig), Dec 2007 (with my own -receding- hair), March 2008 (with longer – but still receding – hair!), June 2008 (even longer hair!), November 2008 (with glasses at a friends apartment) and January 2009 (my first experiment with hot rollers!), April 2009 (my work picture), August 2009 (at a friends place).
My name is Marybeth Allison M. (I want some privacy!). I live in Canada’s National Capital region and am employed (as one blog I frequent put it) as a servant to the Empire.
I began my reconciliation (transition) as a favour to those around me who found me too frequently angry and moody for no apparent reason. I have been reasonably successful careerwise and personally so many found it strange that I would disappear playing computer games and drinking beer for years at a time (work, roleplay, drink, repeat). I entered counselling in May 2005 officially beginning my reconciliation. Exchanging the facade built to others’ expections for the real .me. .
Many people around me used to distrust me – thinking that I was hiding something. A family friend once said ‘Never trust the silent ones’. I think in retrospect they realized that I was holding something back, that they saw the real me peeking out behind the curtain – like the Wizard of Oz. Afraid that if I showed to everyone who I really was, then no matter my authenticity, they would laugh.
I .know. that reconciliation is just me, finally, accepting myself, being myself and, perhaps, beginning to learn to love myself for the first time – instead of hiding. I think (and I am sure that this is a quote but I can’t remember who said it) – ‘I would rather be hated for my honesty than loved for my lies’
For those about to start their journey of reconciliation I wish you luck and Godspeed. It is truly a treacherous path but sometimes we need to dig deep to reveal the golden promise hidden deep within ourselves. I will keep you posted weekly with my thoughts and progress on this ‘univited dilemma’.
Love,
Marybeth Allison M.
I am a male who took dhea and it seems I was losing my hair. so I freaked out and I pleaded for my doctor to put me on spironolactone and he told me there would be breast enlargement and since when I was younger I had taken premarin I might have had some residual breast tissue. But I had electroysis and need to have no hair on my face. I took 200 milligrams of spiro.I thought it was 20 and then one day I saw breasts. I got off the spiro about 2 weeks ago- wil it gradually resolve.I think you would know more about tis- a student of dr.Harry benjamin.I am 59- 6′2″. I do not deal with genetic females so I do not care about having small breasts but I want to know if stopping the spiro will eventually cause them to be reduce as they did when I stopped premarin.also I know you can wear a device to dflatt4en the breat.Now I am concerned about breast cancer probasbly unwarranted-i want you advice-Ira nglbttraveldesk@aol.com-thanks
You seem to be a very caring person that you would try to help others- I wason tg personals for 2 years.I met one genine person and she was giving her and she had the sex change free since she was from scotland. dhea is banned in Europe for the most past. It seems I got myself deeper into the pit- Ira- I guess you want srs.
Ira,
Thank you for both your comments.
I am a complete amateur when it comes to hormones so I don’t know how DHEA comes into this at all. I also don’t want to comment on the effects of taking spiro or not. Please see a doctor, psychiatrist, pharmacist or some other expert for answers to those questions.
As for being a caring person, I am what I am. Confused, transsexual, learning. I might perhaps end up having srs or not. I just want to be happy / less depressed.
Take care,
Marybeth
All I have to say is amazing. Your taste of style everything has changed so much in those pictures. I think you look wonderful. I can’t wait to actually have my hair grown out like that. Its just so slow growing. I’ll have to read more of your recent posts. Keep in touch your doing great.
Hey MbA
it’s yer bro Clint
howzit goin? mom and i just watched a Dr. Phil show: http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1138/ dealing with gender confused children. at the end of it he asked if anyone out there had anything to contribute to the topic and of course i thought of you. perhaps you can help others to some clarity… i thought i’d send them your link. i’m gonna phone you…
Love you always,
hi Marybeth,
i shared your story with an awesome sister named Woo and this was her response:
hi clint!
wow, your brother/sister is very brave and i fully support her journey…
I’ve always been inspired and touched by any person who honors their heart no matter how difficult or how unaccepting society is.
I’ve seen some stellar documentaries that your sister may enjoy “Southern Comfort” (US doc) and “Girl Inside” (canada doc by director Maya Gallus)… Please send my love and admiration to her!
And of course, my love to your awesomeness as well!!
(always)
with love,
xox woo
with Love from me too,
Clint
Hey Marybeth!
It has been a VERY long time. It’s Trevor Wilson, of the Edmonton Wilsons
Mom told me about your transition only last week, and as it has been a very long time since we have seen or even spoken I guess it’s not surprising that I have been out of the loop so to speak.
I’ve spent the last week reading your blog from the start, bringing myself up to speed with your transition. It has been great. I’m not sure if you know how important your words are for those of us who have been on the periphery to understand what life has been like for you.
Although it has been age since we have spoken, I just wanted to tell you how profoundly happy I am for you. It has been wonderful to read the joy you have expressed month after month about becoming the person you have always wanted to be.
May the road continue to rise to meet you!
hey m, i as well have just heard about your transition! this is tammy wilson from the edmonton wilson gang. i hope you keep climbing the mountains that get you to the top of where you want to be and who you want to be. i think it is awsome that you have done just that! thats the great part about life that none of us has to be something just because others think we should! as you know i have always did my thing and been much happier for it. one life to live and we never know when that may end so love, laugh and be happy, happy, happy!!!!!!! and ps you look happy! love always tammy
sorry marybeth im just used to the other name!!